A Miser and a Masochist
by xotakux2002x
Summary: this is the tale of hidan and kakuzu, the growth of their love/hate relationship, and all the bumps and snags they hit along the way. rated for hidan's maouth and yaoi. kakuhidan
1. prologue

Kakuzu walked towards the room he shared with Hidan, sulking. They'd been late on their last mission, so Pein had only paid them half their reward. Kakuzu walked into the room, ignoring his partner and flopping facedown on the bed.

Hidan looked up from the book he was reading in the chair and sighed, shutting it. He walked over to the bed and sat down beside his partner. "How bad?"

"He took half," Kakuzu muttered, voice slightly muffled by the pillow his face was buried in.

The immortal shook his head, smirking. "That's not so bad, dumbass. He could have kept it all."

"Don't even joke like that."

"Whatever, dumbass." Hidan slid his hand onto Kakuzu's back, gently rubbing small circles into him. The banker turned his face to the Jashinist. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to get you to calm down, is that a fucking crime?" Hidan frowned. "Dammit, you're tense." He removed his hand and slid his body onto Kakuzu's thighs, massaging the banker's shoulders. "What the hell did you do, Kakuzu?"

"Nothing at all." The banker sighed and shut his eyes. God, he wondered where Hidan had learned to do this. His hands felt so good as the traveled up and down his back, and Kakuzu couldn't help smiling slightly. After half an hour of this, Hidan stopped and lay down on top of him. "Feel better?"

"Yeah." Kakuzu began to move, and Hidan got up just enough for him to flip over, then lay down on Kakuzu's chest again. He began kissing the banker, eyes shut in pure bliss. Kakuzu broke away. "You know, you're being awfully nice tonight."

"I fucking hate you, burn in hell, you fucking heathen." He smacked Kakuzu. "Happy now, dumbass?"

"No." the banker made them kiss again. "Seriously though, why are you so happy?"

"It's a holiday for Jashin, I can't help it." Hidan frowned slightly and looked away. "And, about my holiday, 'Kuzu…." The banker raised a brow. Hidan only used that pet name when he wanted something, be it love or money. "Yes?"

"I can't have sex until it's over."

Kakuzu blinked and sighed angrily, sitting up. "Dammit!" he muttered. "Hidan, I really needed to screw you after all this."

"It's only until tomorrow."

"That doesn't make me feel any better."

Hidan frowned, annoyed by his partner's sulking. "Sorry I have no control over Jashin's holidays, would punching my head off make you feel better?" he asked sarcastically.

Kakuzu balled his hand into a fist and knocked his partner's head across the room, sighing afterwards. "Nope."

"Dammit to hell, you asshole, sew my fucking head back on!" a long stream of curse words flowed from Hidan's mouth that would have made an ordinary person faint, but Kakuzu merely rolled his eyes and walked over to the talking head, picking it up none-to-gently and going over to the body, stitching it back on. Once he was reassembled, Hidan frowned and walked back to his chair, sulking. "Sorry," the banker muttered. Hidan grunted and picked up his book.

A while later, Kakuzu walked over to the light switch, preparing to turn in for the night. Hidan saw this and grabbed a pillow from the bed, walking to a corner. "I'm sleeping here."

"Whatever." Kakuzu shut off the lights and crawled into bed.

A few hours passed. Kakuzu heard a shuffling sound and grinned. A moment later, his partner crawled into the bed, albeit as far from Kakuzu as he could get. "It's fucking cold," he hissed, answering the unspoken question.

Kakuzu gave him a few minutes, and (after seeing that the immortal wasn't moving) wrapped his threads around Hidan's waist, pulling him close. His body was ice cold. "You shouldn't be so stubborn," he whispered, arms wrapping around the immortals waist, pressing his small back against Kakuzu's chest.

Hidan didn't reply. "Hmm. So, you're not talking to me. Well, I'm sorry for earlier. Ok?" Still no answer. "You forgive me or what?"

"Fine."

"Good." The banker gently kissed Hidan's neck. "Love you."

"Night, 'Kuzu." The banker smiled and kissed his partner again, drifting off.

But Hidan couldn't sleep. It always felt odd to him; being held so close by his partner, like he was the most precious thing in the world to him. He sighed and shook his head. _We've come a long way since we first met…_

Back when all they wanted to do was kill each other.


	2. part 1

~~~~~~~~~~~several years ago~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"When the hell are we gonna get there?"

Kakuzu sighed and turned to glare at his new partner. The pale man merely glared back. "When we get there, you'll know we're there," he hissed. His partner 'hmmphed' and looked away. "Whatever."

Kakuzu clenched his teeth. Dammit, he hated this guy! He was arrogant, loud mouthed, a religious fanatic for some weird sect he'd never even heard of, and insisted on carrying that freakin' scythe everywhere they went! Even Kisame's Samehada wasn't THAT bad, but this thing made it obvious that these two were bad news. And Kakuzu hated sticking out.

To top it all off, he couldn't even hit the little bastard! Oh sure, he was perfectly able to beat the punk into a bloody mess, but the guy was a masochist, so any pain he inflicted was pure pleasure to his partner. And death threats were useless, because the jerk also happened to be an immortal.

What the hell did that leave him with? Almost nothing. Unless he killed his partner for a few hours, but then Pein would yell at him, so that tactic wasn't much fun.

"Hey asshole, can we stop up there?" Kakuzu looked ahead and saw a tea shop. Great, now his partner wanted them to spend money. "If we do, you shut up." A command. His partner merely nodded, attention elsewhere already.

The two of them sat in silence, eating the cheapest sandwiches on the menu. "How the hell you can stand to eat this crap all the time, I'll never know." The pale man grumbled.

"You'd better get used to it, I always eat cheap," Kakuzu answered nonchalantly.

"Seriously?! What the fuck's wrong with you?!" his partner was staring at him with wide eyes, making Kakuzu feel extremely uncomfortable. He quickly averted his eyes. God, he hated people that stared at him. "I just don't like spending money, got it?"

"Yean, yeah…" His partner rolled his eyes and Kakuzu went back to eating, deciding to ignore his partner who had already finished. "Would you fucking hurry it up?!"

"Look, you, I paid for this, so-"

"Hidan."

"What?" the pale man was glaring at him. "My name is Hidan. Not punk, not you, dumbass, it's fucking Hidan!"

The banker returned the glare. "Fine. But my name's not dumbass or fuckwad, it's Kakuzu. Ka. Ku. Zu. Easy enough for you?"

Hidan's glare could have burned a hole in the wall. "Got it, fuckwad. **Kakuzu**, are you finished?"

"Yes, **Hidan**, I am." The banker quickly paid for their food and left.

They had been together for two months. This was the most civil conversation they'd ever had.

As they walked along, Hidan got bored of the silence. "Hey, Kakuzu?"

"Yes?"

"What the hell are we doing again?"

Kakuzu sighed. Either his partner had an incredibly short memory, or he was a complete moron. "There's a guy out here with a huge bounty on him. We go to his hideout, lop off his head, and return it to our client for cash." The job was simple enough.

"I get it." Hidan stopped walking, and so did Kakuzu. "What is it, pu- Hidan."

"You need my help for this damn job, don't you?"

The banker raised a brow. "Well, yes, that was the point in dragging you along, idiot."

"Well, I'm not gonna do this unless there's something in it for me, asshole."

"…….Such as?"

The Jashinist had an evil smirk on his face. "I'll help you….if you take us out to eat a decent meal afterwards."

Kakuzu's eyes widened at the thought of spending more money. "No."

Hidan frowned. "That's the deal, asshole. You can fucking take it or leave it."

Kakuzu turned away and kept walking down the road. "I'll leave it. See you back at the base."

Hidan blinked dumbly. _Was he serious?! _"Fine, dumbass, it's your funeral!" He turned and walked away. "Base is the other way." Hidan swore and turned, storming off.

Kakuzu sighed. Dammit, he really could have used his partner's help this time! Oh well, he'd been fighting solo longer than with a partner, so this was probably better. Kakuzu kept going, carefully altering his plan to suit one person as he went.

The flames from the castle rose high, black smoke blocking out the moon. Beneath it lay a bloody battlefield, slick with blood. Kakuzu was still fighting, although he had taken damage. A lot of damage. Ok, one arm was useless, and he was pretty sure his left leg wasn't in much better shape. Dammit, he really wished Hidan was here, but there was no point in hoping for the impossible. His target, Ryo, had finally come out of hiding to join the fight, but the banker still had a few dozen guards to get through. "Mind explaining to me why you came here all alone?" Ryo asked.

Kakuzu laughed. "Would you believe me if I said I had a partner, but he abandoned me?"

"Actually, yes. You don't seem to be much of a people person," Ryo bluntly stated, looking around at the dead bodies littering the ground.

"Got that right." Kakuzu took advantage of the momentary distraction to kill a few s ninjas who'd wandered too close. And he still had about thirty to go.

Ryo frowned. "That wasn't very nice." He brought his sword in front of him, preparing to attack. "Oh well. I guess this is goodbye, would-be assassin. Enjoy hell!" He charged forward and Kakuzu gritted his teeth, prepared for the attack.

He ducked and rolled, sending a few of his threads out to disarm the man. Ryo merely jumped back and threw several knives, which Kakuzu had no problem dodging. This guy obviously couldn't use long range attacks; meaning if he stayed back he was safe.

The problem with that was that Ryo was super-fast, and still had plenty of guards at his disposal. A few charged and Kakuzu took two out immediately, but was stabbed in the side by the third before he had a chance to react. Once he was dead, though, Ryo saw an opening and charged.

"Hey assholes!"

The sword stopped an inch from Kakuzu's throat, and the banker's eyes widened. _There was no way in hell_….but as he and Ryo turned, there he was. Hidan. Sitting on the edge of the castle wall, scythe lazily resting across his back, legs crossed and a smirk on his face.

"Kakuzu, you need help, dumbass?"

"What do you think?" he hissed angrily.

Hidan continued to grin. "Does that mean you accept my offer, dumbass?"

"What the-no!" Kakuzu's greediness prevented him from accepting the deal.

Hidan frowned. Damn, his partner was stubborn. "Kakuzu, it's just dinner. Grow up."

"Forget it." The banker was losing blood, but pushed back the pain.

"Kakuzu, it's one meal. It won't fucking kill you, but he will," the immortal continued, pointing at Ryo.

"I don't care."

"You need my help."

"He has a point, you know," Ryo added.

"STAY OUT OF THIS!" they yelled. Kakuzu gritted his teeth. He had no other choice. "Fine, dumbass. Now help me!"

Hidan wrapped one hand around his scythe and grinned. "This is gonna be fucking fun."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~15 minutes later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Dinner time!" Hidan called out cheerfully as they left the castle. Kakuzu looked like he was about to pass out, both because of his injuries and the thought of unnecessary spending. "Try to keep it cheap, ok?"

"Hell no! I'm gonna eat 'til I fucking explode!" The Jashinist smirked as Kakuzu turned a shade paler. Just then, a thought crossed the banker's mind. "Hey, Hidan?"

"What?"

"Why the hell did you come back?"

He could have sworn the Jashinist started. "Three reasons, dumbass. One, I knew you'd need my help, so you'd agree to our deal. Two, if I remember correctly, the only fucking leftovers in the fridge are Zetsu's lunch." He shivered at the thought.

"And three?"

A huge grin went across Hidan's face. "I wanted to see the look on your face when you saw the bill for dinner!" Kakuzu ran up to him and knocked his head off. "Jashin dammit, put my fucking head back on!"

Kakuzu grinned. "You shouldn't make demands when I have the upper hand."

Hidan glared. "What the hell do you want, dumbass?"

Kakuzu picked up the severed head. "Call off the dinner."

"I'll burn in hell first."

The banker sighed. "Alright. How about you change it to ramen, and I let you have all you can eat?"

"That's the best I'm going to get, isn't it?"

Kakuzu smirked. "Yup."

Hidan glared spitefully at his partner. "Fine," he spat out. Kakuzu kept smirking and reattached his head. Once that was done, they walked along in silence. Hidan was miffed that he had been cheated out of a good meal, but couldn't help smirking a little.

Clearly Kakuzu had no idea just how much ramen he could eat.


	3. part 2

~~~~~~~~~~~~a few months later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You're gonna have to talk sometime, asshole." Kakuzu remained silent, and Hidan quietly fumed. Kakuzu was currently acting like he didn't exist, and that was pissing off the Jashinist to no end.

It had all started with an argument as they were walking along. Big surprise there. The fight had escalated, and Hidan had ended up grabbing Kakuzu's wallet and chucking it into a stream near the road. After nearly fainting, Kakuzu fished it out and broke every bone in Hidan's body. The immortal thought that would be enough to satisfy his partner, but no, Kakuzu had to throw in the silent treatment as well, didn't he? Well, two could play at this game. That's what he thought at first.

But the banker hadn't spoken in three days.

Hidan sighed angrily. Ok, this was getting ridiculous. "Look, Kakuzu, it's wasn't that fucking much, so-"

"$634.50."

"What?"

The banker turned and glared daggers at his partner. "There was $634.50 in my wallet, and it's ruined because of you." Without another word he turned back around, leaving the immortal standing there dumbfounded. Ok, so there was a little more cash in his partner's wallet then he originally thought, but still! "So what, you're never fucking talking to me again?" Silence. "_I'll take that as a yes."_

Hidan continued walking behind his partner, wondering what to do. It wasn't that he felt bad or anything; this silence was just annoying. Now, what to do, what to do……well, the only thing he could do was replace the cash. Unfortunately, Hidan didn't have that kind of money saved up. The only time they ever got money was after a job. An idea hit Hidan. He'd take a solo job and get the cash, thus rendering him able to pay his miser of a partner back. He just had to make sure Kakuzu didn't find out.

He began thinking. An ordinary bounty was out of the question; Kakuzu may hear about it. Well, his partner had some old contacts; maybe one of them could hook him up with a job. _Hmm……_

A week had passed, and Hidan had been able to get a hold of one of Kakuzu's contacts who could give him a job. He was to meet the man tonight near the edge of the village they were staying in. He mentally ran through his alibi once more, then rose to his feet and left the hotel bed he was sitting on. His partner turned to him and raised a brow. Speaking was still beyond him, but he was curious enough to ask where Hidan was going via body language. "I have to complete a fucking ritual. I'll be gone a few days, jackass, so don't worry." _Like he'd ever worry about me._ Kakuzu merely and turned back to the checkbook he was balancing (or trying to). Hidan suppressed his smile until he was out of the room.

A few hours later Hidan was at the rendezvous point, waiting. His eyes caught a flicker of movement, and a hooded figure emerged, standing a good twenty feet from Hidan. "Are you a friend?"

"Murderers have no friends."

The man showed no reaction. "Let's get down to business. Where's Kakuzu?"

"My partner isn't coming; I'm doing this fucking assignment alone."

He thought the man raised a brow, but he wouldn't swear to it. "I see. And how much are you asking for this job?"

"I was thinking around $640."

"Hmm, that's rather steep, but I've paid your friend more. Alright, here's the target." Hidan caught the scroll that was thrown at him. "That contains the target's picture, personal info, the whole nine yards. Be here in one week at the same time with the head, and you'll get your reward." And with that, he was gone.

Hidan opened the scroll and quickly skimmed the information. Jerk named Zeke, blah blah…bodyguards, blah blah….he was about fifty miles north of here. Ok. Hidan pocketed the scroll and began running. The sooner he did this, the better.

He was in luck. Zeke had left his fortress and was walking in the woods around his property when Hidan found him. The only problem was that the guy still had about twenty bodyguards around him.

Hidan grabbed hold of his scythe, shifting to a fighting stance. _"Well, that's problem's easy enough to remedy." _He waited until the group had passed, then attacked them from behind. Four of them were dead before he was noticed, and another two fell before they could react. After that, all the bodyguards were prepared to fight.

The Jashinist grinned, already covered in blood. "I'll make you fuckers a deal. Leave the asshole behind, and you can keep your fucking lives." No response. "What, no takers?" He raised his scythe. "That's fine by me." He charged.

Kakuzu was still in the room, working on the checkbook. Unwillingly, his mind drifted to Hidan. _"Wonder what the little zealot is up to," _he thought. A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. He got up and opened the door to the hotel room, only to see a familiar hooded figure standing there. "Hello, M-" He was cut off by a hand covering his mouth.

"Don't speak my name!" the man hissed angrily. Kakuzu nodded and he let go. "Tell me, is Hidan in?"

"No. Why?"

"Hmm, I see. Well, thank you." He turned to go.

Kakuzu's hand shot out and grabbed his shoulder. "Why do you need him?"

"No reason." The man pulled away and started walking.

Kakuzu was getting suspicious."Listen, friend, (the man felt threads wrap around his body) I am a lot of things, but dumb isn't one of them. (the threads slid up to his throat) Now tell me why you needed to see Hidan (the threads tightened) or else."

The contact was shaking. "Alright, I'll tell you! Just let me go!" The threads instantly retracted. "Do you have any idea how freaky that is?!" he asked, rubbing his throat.

"Hidan?" the banker asked, threads poised to attack.

"I just came by to tell him that the rendezvous time needs to be moved up three days."

Kakuzu raised a brow. "Rendezvous time?"

"The guy took a job from me. I guess he needed the cash." The man smirked. "What, he didn't tell you? Figures. He said you weren't coming. I thought he meant you were out of commission or something. Oh well, my message is delivered. Make sure you tell him, ok?" He turned to leave again, only to be stopped by more threads. "Hold it. Where exactly is this job?"

Hidan grinned as he sank to his knees. They were all dead. He'd lost enough blood to kill any mortal, and most of his bones were broken, but he'd finally killed them all. Grinning, he got up and winced. Dammit, his right leg really was broken, and from the feel of it so was his left leg. Blocking out the pain, he walked over to Zeke's body, and with one fluid motion lopped off the head. He reached down to pick up the head, then thought better of it and pulled the shirt off the decapitated body, wrapping the bloody head in the fabric. There was no way he was picking up a severed head with his bare hands.

Leaning heavily on his scythe, he limped over to a tree and sat down. This wasn't too bad; his bones would knit together in a few hours, leaving him plenty of time to get back with the head and collect his reward. Unfortunately, he had nothing to do in the meantime but sit and think.

He tried to concentrate on the bounty, or Jashin, but his thoughts kept going back to Kakuzu. Why was that? Probably because he'd taken this lousy job to pay him back. But why did he even WANT to pay him back? Ordinarily he hated talking with his partner, so this silence should be considered a blessing. Yet he'd still gone out and nearly gotten himself killed (ok, so he couldn't really die, but still) for the sake of getting Kakuzu to forgive him.

He blinked. Was that it? He just didn't want his partner mad at him? No, there had to be some other reason-

Hidan froze as he felt a chakra signature approach. If it was another guard, he was screwed. He waited quietly as the signal got closer and closer, until-

"Hidan, where the hell are you?"

_What?_ "Over here, dumbass," he called out. A moment later the banker appeared at his side. His eyes widened at the sight of Hidan's wounds. "Did you do something stupid like charge in headfirst?"

Hidan glared. "No, asshole, I fucking snuck up on them! It just doesn't do much good when there's twenty fucking guards who all want you dead!"

"Alright."

Silence.

"Hey, Kakuzu?"

"Hmm?"

"Why the hell are you even here?"

Kakuzu smirked beneath his mask. "Our friend came to our room to tell you that the rendezvous got moved up three days. I merely convinced him to tell me where you went."

"You threatened to break his fucking neck if he didn't talk, right?"

"Yup." Kakuzu looked at Hidan's wounds again. "Can you walk?"

Hidan shrugged. "My bones should heal in a few hours, so- HEY!" Kakuzu had scooped up the head in one hand and slung Hidan over his other shoulder. "What the fuck are you doing?!"

"Carrying you. Wasted time is wasted money." Kakuzu started to walk back in the direction of the town they were staying in.

Hidan was fidgeting. "Put me down, dammit!"

"Hidan, either you quit squirming and let me carry you, or I'll take off your head so you CAN'T fidget and I carry you."

Hidan stopped moving, glaring spitefully at his partner. Kakuzu ignored this and continued speaking. "You wanna tell me why you took this job alone?"

"No." Hidan answered coldly.

"Why not?"

"Just 'cause."

Kakuzu looked back at the bloody bundle. "Why did you wrap the head up?"

"Because it's fucking gross to carry around a bloody head, jackass."

"Makes sense. How much is it worth?"

"……$640."

"That's an odd figure."

"It's enough to replace your cash," Hidan muttered.

"What?"

Hidan's hand snapped to his mouth. _Shit, he hadn't meant to say that out loud!_ Kakuzu raised a brow. "You took this job to pay me back?"

Hidan looked away. "The silent treatment was getting fucking annoying, ok?"

Kakuzu was not convinced.

"I'm dead serious, Kakuzu!" he started fidgeting again.

WHAM

"PUT MY FUCKING HEAD BACK ON!"

"You were warned not to squirm. Now you pay the price." The banker scooped up the head and tucked it under his arm with the other one.

"EWWW! That's fucking gross!" Hidan tried to bite his partner.

He succeeded.

"OW!" Kakuzu glared at the head. "Hidan cut it out!"

"Put me back on my body, dammit!"

"Will you behave?"

"…….Yes."

"Alright." Kakuzu stitched the head back on and kept going. Hidan was true to his word and didn't move.

They stayed quiet for an hour.

"Are you seriously going to carry me all the way?"

Kakuzu shrugged. "You're not that heavy."

More silence.

They arrived back in the town a few hours later. "We're here."

"….."

"Hey, I said we're here."

"……."

"Dammit, Hidan, we're-" Kakuzu stopped talking. Hidan had fallen asleep. The banker walked back to their hotel room and set his partner down on the bed. The Jashinist looked peaceful, sleeping like that. _"I wish he'd sleep more often. He's so much easier to be around when he's quiet."_ He walked over to a chair and sat down. _"I wonder why he went to so much trouble to pay me back…."_ He sighed. _"Whatever. As long as I get my money."_

He sat there for a while longer, then got up and walked over to his partner. He bent down to whisper in his ear. "If you ever do something this stupid again I'll kill you." Once that was said, he walked away and went back to balancing their checkbook.


	4. part 3

~~~~~~~~~~times passes~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"'Kuzu, Are we almost there?"

"…."

"I asked you a question, asshole."

"….."

"'Kuzu, are we almost-"

"Hidan." The banker slowly turned around and motioned to the surrounding area. "DOES IT LOOK LIKE WE'RE ALMOST THERE?!" The landscape was flat as a pancake, and deserted. It reminded Hidan of a far-off place he'd read about, known as Kansas. "AND STOP CALLING ME 'KUZU!!" With the, the banker turned back around and began walking faster.

Hidan grinned to himself. Torturing his partner like this had become too much fun. He thanked Jashin for the day he figured it out….

~~~~~~~~~~~~flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"_Danna, when are we gonna leave?!" Deidara whined._

"_Soon enough, brat." Sasori grumbled. Deidara began to pout. "What now, brat?"_

"_Don't call me that, un." Deidara said._

_Sasori's gazed softened. "I'm sorry, Deidara. But I can't just walk around and call you Dei-chan in public. Then people really WILL think you're a girl."_

"_Then just call me Deidara, ok?"_

"_Fine." The blonde smiled and nuzzled him affectionately._

"_What the hell are you two doing?" The artists frowned. Moment over. "We were just leaving. Come on, Dei."_

"_Right, Sasori danna." The artists left the room, leaving Kakuzu and Hidan all alone. As soon as they were gone, Hidan burst into laughter. "Oh my Jashin! 'Danna' and 'Dei-chan', huh?"_

"_What's so funny?" Kakuzu asked in a bored tone._

"_It's just fucking funny, those nicknames they come up with!" Hidan stopped laughing and straightened up. "Hey, Kakuzu?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_Why the hell don't we have nicknames for each other?"_

"_Because we're not idiots. And I thought dumbass was my nickname."_

"_No, it's just me stating the obvious." Hidan hummed to himself. "Ok. I wanna give you a nickname."_

"_Why?"_

"_Just 'cause, jackass. Now, what should I call you….how about stitchy?"_

"_No."_

"_Psycho?"_

"_No."_

"_Dumbass doesn't count, so….how about 'Kuzu?"_

"_ABSOLUTELY NOT!"_

_Hidan's eyes widened at the outburst. "Why?"_

"_It just…sounds so….CUTESY." _

_Hidan grinned evilly. "Oh really? Fine, from now on you are 'Kuzu."_

"_HELL NO!"_

"_HELL YA!"_

_WHAM _

"_PUT MY FUCKING HEAD BACK ON!"_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~end flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hidan sighed happily. He really did have too much fun doing this shit to Kakuzu, but so what? Even if he got hurt in the end, it was hilarious.

"Hey, Hidan."

"Yeah?"

"We're home."

The Jashinist looked around, surprised. The landscape had changed back to forest without him noticing. Soon enough, they'd be back at the base.

After they'd checked in, Hidan went straight to the living room to relax and read his bible. It seemed like a good idea; most of the other members were out on various missions, and Kakuzu was busy in their room. This meant that he could have the couch all to himself.

He set his scythe on the ground beside him and stretched out on the couch, grateful for some peace. He quickly opened his book and began reading. For a while, all was calm.

But in the Akatsuki, peace is both rare and short lived.

The disturbance came in the form of Kakuzu. "Hidan."

"Hmm?" the Jashinist was engrossed in his book.

"Hidan, look at me."

The immortal sighed and put a bookmark in his place. "Alright, what the fuck is it?"

"I just went through my wallet. I'm missing $3.48." he was glaring at his partner.

Hidan began to fidget, looking away. "Well, see, I got hungry, and you were asleep, so-"

"So you robbed me blind?!"

"Chill, asshole, it's just a little cash-"

"It's my cash, your freaky zealot!"

Now Hidan was getting angry. He got up and returned the glare. "I'll pay you back, dumbass, so fucking give it a rest."

"That's beside the point, you little-"

"Jashin dammit, 'Kuzu, what do-"

"THAT DOES IT!" Hidan barely had time to dodge as his partner's fist went through the couch, smashing a hole in his bible. Ok, this was **war.** "You're gonna fucking pay for that!" he screamed as he grabbed his scythe from the floor and lunged at his partner.

CRASH

BANG

SMASH

Pein walked into the room. "What the hell is-" He was cut off by half a chair hitting him square in the face.

Hidan and Kakuzu stopped fighting, eyes widening. _Uh-oh._ "Pein, sir, we-"

The leader glared at them, blood dripping down his face. "My. Office. NOW!" The partners reluctantly followed him, leaving behind the demolished living room.

Pein came to the conclusion that they needed 'space'. By 'space', he meant they were only going to be put on solos assignments for a while. A while turned out to be two months, and it probably would have lasted longer, save for one thing.

"Kakuzu?"

"Yes?"

"Have you seen Hidan?"

The banker shook his head. Pein had been careful to put them on missions that were timed so that those two would never be in the base at the same time.

Pein frowned at the response. "That's weird…."

Kakuzu raised a brow. "What is it?" But Pein had already left the room. The banker decided to let it go, and returned to his money.

A few days later, Konan told him to go see Pein in his office. When he arrived, Pein had an odd look on his face. "Kakuzu, I am aware that you and Hidan haven't been getting along very well lately."

The banker snorted. That could very easily be the understatement of the century. Pein ignored the sound and went on. "So, in order to keep the peace (and our budget in tact) I've been putting you two on solo jobs. This has worked out surprisingly well. Until now." His eyes narrowed. "Two weeks ago, I sent Hidan on an assignment. He has yet to return. This means that he's probably been captured, and since you're his partner, it's your job to rescue him."

Kakuzu nodded. He should have guessed.

"Alright, here's the data….."

A week later, Kakuzu was in front of a large castle, carefully disguised. The guards stopped him, then escorted him inside. He was posing as an ambassador (who had conveniently been 'disposed of' on the way here). His job was simple enough; infiltrate, retrieve Hidan, and get out. But first, he had to meet with the lord.

"Ahh, so you're the ambassador. Hajji, right?" the lord stood to greet him, extending a friendly hand.

Kakuzu shook it. "Yes, I am. I trust that things have been going well for you, sir?"

The lord frowned. "Well, yes, until recently. You see, the other day, I caught an intruder breaking in. He was quite sneaky to, and may have gotten away, except for one thing."

Kakuzu raised a brow. He was curious to hear how Hidan had been caught. "What happened?"

The man couldn't help smirking. "You see, he got his necklace caught in the door's framework, and started swearing while trying to get it out. Poor idiot."

"Idiot is right," Kakuzu muttered. Of course it would have something to do with Hidan's loud mouth and damnable religion. It always did.

"Now, I'm sure you're worn out from your journey. My guards will show you to your room."

Kakuzu nodded and followed the men out of the room.

Hidan groaned and rolled over in his cell. This wouldn't be so bad if the floor wasn't made out of stone, dammit! He heard footsteps going by outside his door. Some poor bastard was getting dragged off to be tortured. Hidan sighed and rolled his eyes. Bunch of wimps, whining about the pain.

He heard more footsteps come down the corridor and stop outside his door. His eyes widened in anticipation as the knob turned and the door opened.

Kakuzu stood there, holding his scythe in one hand. "Hey, dumbass."

Hidan's eyes narrowed. "Why the fuck are you here, Kakuzu?"

"Simple. Pein told me to come and get you, because you've been gone too long. Now come on."

Hidan frowned. "I don't wanna."

Kakuzu raised a brow. "What do you mean, 'you don't wanna'?"

The Jashinist smirked. "Easy. They're convinced I've got information, so they've been torturing me nonstop. It's awesome! If I stay here, I get free lodging, three meals a day, and plenty of torture. See?"

Kakuzu shook his head. "Hidan, You are the epitamy of masochism."

"And fucking proud of it."

"Now come on."

"I told you, I don't wanna!"

The banker sighed. This was getting annoying. "Look, if it'll make you come with me, I'll rip out your intestines and strangle you with them when we get home, ok?"

"That a promise?"

"Yes."

"Alright." Hidan rose to his feet. "Give me my damn scythe." Kakuzu handed over the weapon, allowing Hidan to lead the way. "You're lucky I was getting bored, asshole."

"Yeah, yeah…."

A while later the two were back on the road, walking along in silence. Neither one of them could think of anything to say. "Look, Kakuzu…"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for saving me. Even though Pein fucking made you."

Kakuzu frowned. "That's a pretty crappy thank you, ya know."

"Well it's true! If Pein hadn't sent you, I'd still be back there rotting away!"

"I thought you liked being there."

"I was fucking bored, 'Kuzu!"

"Well you didn't have to come, you know."

"Oh like I had any-WHAT THE FUCK?!?!" Hidan's eyes widened, face full of shock.

"What, what is it?!" Kakuzu crouched into a fighting position and looked around, trying to see if there were any enemies.

"Kakuzu, you…"pure shock was painted all over Hidan's face.

"I what?"

The shock became an evil grin. "You let me call you 'Kuzu without yelling me or hitting me." The banker's eyes widened. _Oh shit._

Hidan's grin got even wider. "Admit it, you fucking like your nickname!"

"No I don't."

"Yes you do!" Hidan was laughing and clutching his sides by now.

"No I don't!" Kakuzu's temper was flaring up, his face turning red.

"Aww, what's wrong, 'Kuzu? Don't you-"

WHAM

"JASHIN DAMMIT, WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DO THAT?!" Hidan's decapitated yelled out.

"Because I told you not to call me that, but you persisted." Kakuzu shook his head. "You really are one dumb son of a bitch, you know?"

"Does that mean you'll fucking put my head back on?"

The banker paused, thinking. Suddenly, an evil smile spread across his face. "Oh yes, I'll put your head back on…." An evil laugh escaped his lips.

Hidan was getting nervous. "Kakuzu, what are you doing? I mean, come on, it wasn't that bad, right? Kakuzu?"

"MMMMMMMMMGH MGHMMMM MMMMPH!"

Kakuzu rolled his eyes and sighed. Even with his lips sewn shut, his partner still annoyed the hell out of him.


	5. part 4

~~several months and near-lethal incidents later~~~~~~~~~~

Kakuzu had utterly given up on trying to get rid of his nickname, and now endured the hated term in miserable silence. Fortunately for him, Hidan had resigned himself to calling him 'Kuzu only at certain times, so it wasn't completely unbearable.

Completely being the key term.

Anyhow, the banker and zealot were off on another mission. It was an assassination, just like their last two dozen missions or so. Pein had finally figured out that no matter what kind of mission he sent them on, Hidan usually ended up killing everyone, so assassination just made things easier for the entire organization.

Unfortunately, this particular assignment got out of hand. Maybe it was because Pein's info on the building's layout was outdated. Maybe it was because there were two hundred guards, armed to the teeth in weaponry. Or maybe it was because half the guards were deranged pyromaniacs who could use fire jutsu. Whatever the reason, the fight got WAY out of hand, and pretty soon everyone was at everyone else's throat, and the two Akatsuki members could only dodge the attacks and pray the idiots would kill each other, while the castle burned around them.

…."HA! Too fucking easy," Hidan laughed, kicking aside a dead body.

"Don't be so cocky. If these morons hadn't gone at each other, you and I would both be on the ground right now, instead of these guys." Kakuzu was currently repairing some of his stitches.

"Ahh, fucking lighten up, asshole! It could have happened, but it fucking didn't, so just-" Hidan looked down at the body he'd just kicked, and his eyes widened. "SHIT!" he jumped back, confusing the banker for a moment.

BOOOOOOOOOM

Dammit, the ninja had stuck a paper bomb to his chest! Hidan managed to get out of the way, leaping into the burning building to avoid the blast.

CREEEEEAAAAK

"_Shit!"_ Hidan looked up to see the roof caving in. He shut his eyes. Immortal or not, this was gonna hurt like hell. Hidan waited for the feeling of burning wood crushing him.

WHAM

The air was knocked out of the Jashinist as he felt something slam into him from the side. Whatever it was crashed to the ground with him. "Oof!" Once the world stopped moving, Hidan opened his eyes.

Kakuzu was holding him.

Or more specifically, had wrapped his arms tightly around the immortal's thin frame, crushing his ribcage. "……….Kakuzu, you can fucking let go. I'm fine, dammit."

The banker seemed to realize what he was doing and immediately released his partner, backing up several feet and rising from the ground. "Come on. Our mission's done." Hidan nodded and rose to his feet, slightly dazed, following his partner out of the castle, which was completely engulfed in flames.

An uncomfortable silence followed them on their way back, and neither one of them could think of something to say. Kakuzu finally spoke up. "Hidan, about what happened back there-"

"Chill, I get why you did it."

Kakuzu stared. "You do?"

"Yeah, it would have taken to much damn time to fucking fix me if that damn building crushed me, right?"

"…"

Hidan raised a brow. "I'm right, right?"

"Don't let it happen again," Kakuzu muttered, quickening his pace. Hidan shrugged and followed close behind.

A while later they got off the road and set up camp, spreading their cloaks on the ground, preparing to go to sleep. Hidan flopped down and shut his eyes, body completely exhausted. He relaxed his body, about to drift off. "Hidan." Oh great.

"What?" he mumbled.

"Can we- look, I just- we need to talk."

Hidan groaned. "Can't it wait 'til morning?"

"No, it can't."

Hidan groaned again and sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Dammit, what the fuck is it?!" he muttered.

Kakuzu ignored the swearing. He took a breath, knowing he had to hurry before he lost his nerve completely. "Hidan, there was a reason I saved you earlier."

"Yeah, I know. You didn't want to waste time patching me up. Can we fucking go to sleep now?" Hidan was getting really annoyed really fast.

"That's not why." Hidan raised a brow. Ok, now he was curious. "Look, when I saw the roof caving in…I just freaked out. I didn't even think about you being immortal; I just reacted."

"That's normal, most people fucking forget I'm immortal, so-"

"Will you let me finish?" Hidan frowned and nodded. "Alright. Look, I didn't react like that because I'd have to fix you, or because you're my partner. I saved you because I was fucking scared you'd get hurt." He shut his eyes. "Hidan, I don't want you to get hurt, period. And that's because I really like you." He looked up.

Hidan's brain had shut down. "Wait, did you just say….what I think you said?" He began rubbing the back of his head. "Kakuzu, do you mean friend like, or-"

"I mean I fucking like you, Hidan. How clear do I have to make it?" Kakuzu sighed and lay down, turning his back to his partner. "Forget it. I don't expect you to return my feelings or anything; I just wanted to make it clear why I saved you. You can go to sleep now."

Hidan lay down and curled into a ball, mind racing. How the hell was he supposed to go to sleep now?

The next few days were filled with awkward silence, but this time neither of them dared to break it. Hidan was desperately trying to figure out what the hell he should do; he didn't want to get stuck with a new partner, but he wasn't sure if he could stay with Kakuzu now. "_Maybe, if I could just talk to him again_…Kakuzu." His partner started at the noise and turned to look at him. "Yes?"

"Look, about what you told me-"

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

The two Akatsuki jumped back. "What the fuck?!" About twenty enemy shinobi appeared form the forest. "Well, what do you know. I guess some of those punks survived."

"Yeah," Hidan replied, gripping his scythe and shifting to a fighting position. "But they're so fucking pathetic it took them this long to catch up with us." He grinned. "Let's go." They charged.

At first, the fight went well. Most of their enemies went down with no problems, but the remaining fighters were getting better about dodging their attacks, and attacking on their own. Hidan was about to rip one of them in half, when something in his peripheral vision stopped him.

Kakuzu was fighting seven to one, and losing.

Despite his best efforts, his wounded body couldn't keep up with the enemies, and he was barely able to block and dodge their attacks. They had figured this out, and were attacking from all angles, using countless combinations, just trying to find an opening or a weak spot on him. Suddenly, one of them ran up behind him and ran a katana through his back. Kakuzu coughed up blood as he sank to his knees.

"BASTARDS!"

Kakuzu saw a flash of movement and heard a blood-chilling screech. The man who'd run him through had just been sliced open, blood spilling out of his still-living body. "You're gonna fucking pay for that!" Hidan screamed, raising his blade and turning to the other assailants. Kakuzu's eyes widened as Hidan began to tear them apart. He'd seen Hidan mad, but this was just….indescribable malice. Finally, when they were all dead, Hidan stopped, eyes wide with rage and chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath.

Kakuzu slowly rose to his feet; thank god for those extra hearts. "Hidan?" the Jashinist turned to him, still panting. "Yeah?"

"You ok?"

Hidan snorted. "Yeah. Just got a little pissed, ok?" he looked around at the carnage. "I guess I went a little overboard, huh?"

"Yes, yes you did." The banker looked at his partner from head to foot. "Hidan."

"Yeah?"

"What were you trying to say earlier?"

Hidan looked away. "It was nothing. Let's go." he turned to walk away.

"Why don't I believe that?" Kakuzu walked after his partner. "Tell me."

"I said it was fucking nothing!"

Kakuzu raised a brow. "Hidan, if this is about what I said, I'm sorry. But that's how I feel. I said you don't have to like me. Hell, you can just keep hating me-"

"I DON'T FUCKING HATE YOU!" Hidan plunged his scythe into one of the dead bodies and spun around to glare at the banker.

Kakuzu's eyes widened slightly. "Hidan-"

"I DON'T FUCKING HATE YOU, I FUCKING LIKE YOU TOO! THAT'S WHY I STAY WITH YOU EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE AN ASS, THAT'S WHY I WON'T LET YOU STAY MAD AT ME, AND THAT'S WHY I'M MAKING A JASHIN-DAMNED FOOL OF MYSELF RIGHT NOW! **I FUCKING LIKE YOU!**" Kakuzu stared at his partner in stunned silence, while Hidan glared at him, face red. "There, I said it." He turned around and walked away, sitting down on the ground and curling up into a ball.

At first, Kakuzu wasn't sure how to react. Slowly and cautiously, as if he were walking on eggshells, he approached his partner. "Hidan."

"What, dumbass?"

Kakuzu ignored the insult. "If you felt like that, why didn't you say something?"

Hidan's answer was muffled, due to the fact that he'd buried his face in his knees. Kakuzu kneeled down and tilted his head up. "What was that?"

"……I thought you were fucking lying."

Kakuzu blinked. "You what?"

"You heard me. I thought-"

WHAM

"What the fuck?!" Hidan's decapitated head screamed. "Ok, I fucking take it all back! You a fucking greedy heathen who should burn in hell! I fucking hate you, asshole!"

Kakuzu chuckled and picked him up. "Then don't call me a liar." He began stitching Hidan's head back on his body. "Because I wasn't lying." He finished stitching up Hidan. For a moment, all was still. Then without warning, he pulled down his mask and kissed the Jashinist.

Hidan didn't even have time to register what was happening before Kakuzu pulled away and stood, walking in the direction he presumed the base was in. He rose to his feet and followed.

It looked like the awkward silence had decided to return. _"Over my fucking dead body._ 'Kuzu."

The banker grunted in reply and kept walking.

"Jashin dammit, wait!" Hidan grabbed his partner's arm and dug his heels into the ground, effectively stopping the banker. Kakuzu turned and raised a brow at his partner. Hidan had an uncertain look on his face. It was kinda cute, actually.

Hidan took a deep breath. "Can I have another one?" he blushed.

"_Hmm_? Another what?"

Hidan's uncertainty turned to anger. "You fucking know what! That damn kiss back there sucked, so I want another one, dammit!" Kakuzu's eyes widened. "Is that ok?" Hidan asked looking away, uncertainty back on his face and in his voice.

Kakuzu slowly reached up and pulled down his mask. He tilted Hidan to look at him and give him another kiss. The immortal quickly wrapped his arms around his partner's neck, to prevent his escape. Their kiss only lasted a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity. When they finally, broke away, Hidan was grinning widely. "Thanks, 'Kuzu."

The banker pulled his mask back up. "Come on, we need to get going." He started back down the road, his partner following him. "And you're welcome."


	6. part 5

It had been a few months since their kiss. And absolutely nothing had changed in their relationship.

Oh sure, they'd kissed a couple of times, but it always felt weird, almost forced, and they never knew what to say afterwards. It was annoying to no end.

Especially for Kakuzu.

The banker had finally worked up the guts to tell his partner how he felt, and to his amazement, Hidan had returned the feelings. _So why the hell was this so damn awkward?! _Kakuzu would have continued pondering this, but a sandal collided with the back of his head. He turned around and glared at his partner, who happened to be missing one of his shoes. "I've been trying to get your attention for fifteen minutes, dumbass!" This outburst confirmed his suspicions about the culprit of the attack.

WHAM

"Don't you ever get fucking tired of knocking my damn head off?!"

"Knocking it off, yes. Your reaction to having it knocked off, never."

Hidan glared up at his partner. "Fuck you."

"Yeah, yeah," the banker muttered as he began stitching his partner's head back on. "Now what were you whining about?"

"I'm fucking tired. Can we stop soon?"

Kakuzu grinned evilly as he finished sewing. "What's the magic word?"

Hidan turned pale. "Oh come on, you can't-"

"Say it."

"But-"

"**Say it**."

Hidan took a deep breath. "Can we fucking stop soon…………..please?" the last word came out a choked whisper.

Kakuzu bit back a laugh. "Alright, we'll stop at the next village." True to his word, there stopped for the night when they hit a small village an hour later.

The town was bustling with life, as people ran about to different booths for food and games. Kakuzu found out that there was a festival going on to welcome spring when he checked in to the hotel. It wasn't anything special; some food, games, and a fireworks show. Hidan, however, seemed excited at the idea of a fireworks display, and begged his partner to let them see it. Kakuzu had no desire whatsoever to watch, but agreed to let Hidan see them. After dropping his things off in their room, the Jashinist disappeared.

All was quiet.

Kakuzu sighed and flopped down on the bed, already bored. His partner may have been annoying as hell, but at least it was never dull with him around. He endured the silence for three hours before getting up to find his partner.

Hidan was stretched out on the ground, facing the sky. He'd been able to find a hill a fair distance from the village. He was far enough away that he probably wouldn't be disturbed, but close enough that he could still see the fireworks display. He sighed to himself. Dammit, he wished Kakuzu would have come with him, but that was his partner for you. Oh well.

"Hey."

He jumped and turned around at the voice. Kakuzu was standing above him. "Mind if I join you?"

"No." the banker sat down near his partner, and Hidan sat up. "Why the hell did you come out here?"

"I felt like it."

Silence

"Seriously, why the fuck are you here?"

"I just…..wanted to be out here with you, ok?" Kakuzu muttered, looking away.

Hidan raised a brow, then smirked. "Yeah." He reached out and grabbed Kakuzu's hand, intertwining their fingers before the banker had a chance to protest. Like he really would have.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

The two Akatsuki members looked up. The fireworks display had started.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

The sky was alive with brilliant, brief flashes of color, the explosions ringing loudly in the air. Kakuzu looked down at his partner and saw Hidan watching the show intently, an excited look on his face. Carefully, he pulled his partner to him, wrapping the arm Hidan was holding onto around the immortal's slim waist. Hidan smirked and leaned against his partner, eyes still on the show.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

They watched in silence for a while, not wanting to destroy this rare moment of peace and happiness. As he watched his partner, a thought crossed Kakuzu's mind. "Hidan?"

"Hmm?"

"What are you thinking about?"

Hidan blushed. "I'd tell you, but you'd fucking kill me."

"I can't. You're immortal."

"Smartass."

"Better to be a smartass than a dumbass. Now tell me."

Hidan sighed. "Two things. One, I'm imagining what kind of argument this show would make Sasori and Deidara get in to."

"And the other thing?"

Hidan looked away, blushing deeper. Kakuzu found this both interesting, and kind of cute. Who'd have thought his partner was capable of embarrassment? "Well?"

"Well, I was just thinking………….that this is kinda…………..like a date."

To the immortal's surprise, Kakuzu chuckled. "It is, isn't it?" The banker tugged down his mask with his free hand and kissed his partner's forehead. Hidan blinked, then grinned and scooted closer to his partner.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

They stayed for the rest of the show, not really paying attention to the explosions now. When it was over, they rose to their feet and walked back to the hotel room.

Kakuzu quickly undressed and crawled into bed, telling Hidan to do the same, because they were leaving at sunrise. "And I don't want to hear you bitch about it, because…we….." Hidan had climbed into the bed and crawled on top of Kakuzu. "Hidan, what are you doing?"

The Jashinist smirked. "Getting a goodnight kiss, asshole." His hands shot up and pulled off Kakuzu's mask, kissing the banker on the lips before he could object.

Once the initial shock dissipated, Kakuzu wrapped his arms around Hidan's slim frame, pressing them closer together. This kiss was deeper than their other ones, and the banker liked it. He felt Hidan squirm, and broke away for air. "Goodnight."

Hidan smirked and slid of his partner's chest, keeping his body pressed against Kakuzu's side. "Night, 'Kuzu." The banker cuffed him on the back of the head, but Hidan just smirked and shut his eyes. Soon, they were both asleep.


	7. part 6

The awkward stage of their relationship was finally over, and Kakuzu was overjoyed. At least for a little while. But then, something about their relationship began to eat at him. The problem was, he couldn't figure out what.

Was it because Hidan was a guy? No, he'd never been homophobic.

Was it because they hid their relationship from the rest of the organization? Tch, that was a laugh. Everyone in the organization hid their relationships, even though the screams and moans coming through the walls late at night made it perfectly clear that something was going on.

So, what was it?

Kakuzu's thoughts were interrupted by a flying kunai. Oh, that's right, they were in the middle of a fight. He dodged the attack and ripped his assailant in half. Now, where was he? Let's see, he hadn't done anything bad, and neither had Hidan, so maybe-

The answer hit him at the same time as a katana.

Swearing loudly, he tore the blade out of his shoulder and used it to kill its own. He'd figured it out. The problem now was bringing it up with Hidan….

"Damn, you really got yourself cut up, you know?"

"Just shut the fuck up and stitch me back together, asshole." Kakuzu shook his head and smirked as he reattached his partner's left hand. "And you got a pretty nasty cut yourself, dumbass. Wanna explain how the fuck that happened?"

The banker frowned. He hadn't planned on bringing it up yet, but it couldn't hurt. "Well, to be honest, I was thinking about us."

"In the middle of a fight?"

Ignoring this, the banker continued. "Hidan, we've been together for a couple of months…"

"Yeah."

"And we're really close…."

"Yeah?"

"So why haven't we had sex?"

It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

"……….What?"

The banker sighed. Of course this would be awkward. "Why haven't we done it yet? We got over how weird our relationship is a long time ago, we have no problems being physically close, so why can't we have sex?"

Hidan looked away and turned red. "I dunno. I just, well, I guess 'cause….I've got no fucking clue, 'Kuzu."

Kakuzu raised a brow. "Do you have any problems with that?"

Hidan got redder. "NO! I just, um….."

"Hidan, are you a virgin?"

Hidan's face was the same crimson color as Sasori's hair. "Maybe," he squeaked.

The banker smirked. "You are, aren't you?"

Hidan huffed and stormed off. "This fucking conversation is over!"

Kakuzu followed him. "Come on, Hidan, you shouldn't be so embarrassed."

"Oh just shut the fuck up!" The Jashinist felt something wrap around his ankles and trip him. He hit the ground and felt himself be dragged backwards. "Damn you and your fucking threads!" Kakuzu brought him closer, until only about a foot separated them. "Hidan, you're blowing this way out of proportion. It's simple question; just answer it."

Hidan glared at his partner, turning red again. "Yes. Happy now?"

"No. Because you're still mad." Kakuzu frowned and kneeled down. "I'm sorry, ok?"

"Fine." Hidan smirked. "Well, I guess that answers your damn question, right?"

"Yup. So, now that we've answered it….you wanna?"

Hidan's blush returned. "Yeah, I guess."

Kakuzu smirked and stood, extending a hand to help Hidan up. "Alright." He couldn't help chuckling. "What is it, asshole?"

"It's funny to see you act this shy, that's all."

"Fuck you!" Hidan stormed off again, and Kakuzu followed him from a distance.

They had managed to find a hotel that was cheap enough for Kakuzu's taste, and were now unpacking what little they'd brought on this mission. Hidan sighed and stretched his arms above his head. He squeaked as he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist from behind. "Ready for some fun?"

"Right now?"

Kakuzu spun him around. "Why wait?" He reached up with one hand and pulled off his mask, before leaning in to kiss his partner.

Hidan shut his eyes and wrapped his arms around the banker's neck, eagerly returning the kiss. He felt Kakuzu's arms slide off his waist and travel to the buttons on his coat, slowly undoing them. Hidan dropped his arms to allow the clothing to slide off, before moving his hands to undo his partner's cloak.

He slid his hands down again and grabbed the hem of Kakuzu's shirt, pulling it off as Kakuzu pushed them down on the bed. He began nibbling at his partner's lower lip, and Hidan gladly gave entrance. But as their tongues dueled, a though gnawed at Hidan. _"No, stay quiet!"_ Kakuzu broke away and moved to his neck, biting down hard on the tender flesh and making his partner cry out beneath him. _"You can't let it get that far," _a small voice reminded him.

"_Shut up!"_

"_No. You know I'm right."_

Kakuzu bit down on the other side of Hidan's neck, drawing blood.

"_You know what'll happen." _The voice continued.

"_Not this time!"_

"_Don't make promises you can't keep."_

Hidan's arms were tightly around Kakuzu's neck. The banker was already sliding him out of his pants. _"What the hell do I do?!"_

"_You need to think."_

"Hidan."

"_But I already-"_

"_This will only hurt worse if you wait."_ The voice reminded him.

"HIDAN."

"_That seems cruel."_

"_Pain always is."_

"HIDAN!" The Jashinist blinked and looked up at his partner. Kakuzu was giving him a concerned look. "You just fazed out. You ok?"

Hidan was shaking slightly. "Please stop."

Kakuzu raised a brow. "Why, what's-"

"Just stop!" Kakuzu noticed the odd tone in Hidan's voice and climbed off. "Ok, ok. Just calm down." He shut off the light and Hidan rolled over, his mind racing. He wished he hadn't remembered.

Now they had a problem.


	8. part 7

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~the next day~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hidan stared at the ceiling of their bedroom, a blank expression on his face. He hadn't been able to sleep at all. He was to busy trying to figure out what to do.

He'd made a mistake; he'd let Kakuzu get too close to him, and he'd shown too much affection for his partner. He'd very nearly let his feelings develop into love.

He grinned bitterly._ "But that's how it always fucking goes, isn't it?" _Unlike his partner, Hidan had been in a few relationships before. And every last one of them ended one of two ways.

Either the person would abandon him, or get killed.

After the first few times, Hidan had learned that personal relationships were just a hindrance. He'd been able to care for a few people from a distance after that, with the same results. He'd finally totally given up on relationships.

And then Kakuzu came along.

Hidan gritted his teeth. Never, in all of his relationships, had he let anyone get as close to him as his partner. He couldn't help it; what he felt, was, well-

"_You're going to say love, aren't you?"_ Damn that voice to hell.

"_So what?"_

"_You can't love him."_

"_I can too!"_

"_No, you can't. You're a jinx; this relationship is destined to end like all the others."_

"_It doesn't have to, dammit!"_

"_But it will. And what will happen to you then?"_

"_I'll die."_

"_You're immortal."_

"_I'll still die."_

"_On the inside, right? Are you really that willing to let your life fall apart, because of some person you've hated for the better part of the time you've known him?"_

"…_.."_

"_Well?"_

"_I don't know."_

"_You can't."_

"_What do I fucking do, then?!"_

"_Push him away. Hurt him so badly that he can't stand to look at you. Then get away. You'll hurt for a while, but in a few years you'll be fine."_

"_I don't wanna fucking hurt him!"_

"_It's the only way."_

"_I don't want to put him through that kind of pain."_

"_You must. Hurt him so badly that all he feels for you is hate. Make it so there is no room in his heart for pain or sadness; just hatred towards you."_

"_I'm not going to!"_

"_Yes, you will. He's mortal; even if you hurt him, the pain can only last until death. You're immortal; the pain you'll feel when he leaves will last for all eternity."_

"_What if…what if I….."_

"_Think as long as you want; there is no other way." _Hidan sighed. _"I'm fucking losing it."_ But, the voice made a good point. Hidan sat up and punched the bed. Jashin dammit!

Kakuzu had stayed out of the room for the better part of the day. He still wasn't sure why Hidan had flipped out the night before, and he wasn't sure he wanted to know. The banker had spent most of the day reading, but finally decided to go and talk to his partner. Hopefully the loud-mouth would be in a talking mood.

He felt that something was wrong as soon as he walked into the room. Hidan was sitting on the bed, back turned to him. "Hidan, can we talk?"

"No." he was surprised at the spite in his partner's voice. He walked over. "Hidan, please…" He reached out and touched his partner's shoulder.

The Jashinist jerked away and spun around, and Kakuzu could very clearly see revulsion on his face. "How fucking retarded do you have to be not to understand 'no', dammit?! And don't fucking touch me!"

Kakuzu raised a brow. "Why?"

"Because it fucking feels gross having a freak like you touch me!"

His eyes narrowed. "You didn't mind before," he whispered dangerously.

"Who the fuck says I didn't mind?" Hidan replied in the same tone.

"Oh, so all these weeks have been a joke to you?" Kakuzu asked sarcastically.

Hidan smiled bitterly. "I've got a fucking sick sense of humor, huh?"

The answer caught Kakuzu off-guard. "What?"

"You heard me! Or are you too Jashin-damned stupid to recognize rejection, stitchy?"

Kakuzu's rage was building up. "You're one sick bastard, you know?!" he sighed in frustration. "I don't get why I fucking save you all the time."

"Because you fucking need me, since you're so fucking weak!"

"Oh, I need you, huh?!"

"Hell yeah! How many fucking times have I had to bail you out in a fight?! You're so pathetic, it's sickening. Maybe that's why you don't have a family anymore, dumbass!"

That was going too far.

Hidan felt himself being crushed against the wall, Kakuzu's hands tightly around his throat. "**Take. That. Back**." He hissed, fury painted all over his face.

Hidan laughed. "Or what? You'll knock my fucking head off, like you always do? That's all you can do, isn't it? Drop it, or get a new fucking idea, asshole."

The banker immediately released the smaller man and stormed across the room. "Where are you going?" Hidan called in a bored tone.

"To talk to Pein. We are never going to work together again!"

"Switching partners won't get me far enough away from you, freak!"

SLAM

Hidan stared at the door for a few moments, prepared to yell more if his partner returned. He didn't. After an eternity, which was really about fifteen minutes, Hidan slowly walked over to his side of the room, as if in a trance. _"That was good. He'll hate you for sure now."_

"Shut up." Hidan felt like a huge part of him had been ripped out, and he was closer to tears than he'd been since childhood. The Jashinist dropped his cloak on the bed. He was running away, and the trademark cloak would easily give him away, no matter how far he went. He grabbed his scythe, which was the only thing he'd really need. The immortal walked over to the window, stopping when he reached it. He had to leave a note.

But what should he write? He couldn't write anything else that was cruel; he'd done enough damage to get his partner to hate him, and couldn't bear to hurt the man more. An apology was out of the question, since there was the ever-so-slight risk of Kakuzu thinking he hadn't really meant it. He shook his head. No, better to leave nothing behind, and just go.

Hidan jumped out of the window. At first, he simply walked away. Then his pace picked up to a jog, and finally he was running at top speed, away from the base, away from the Akatsuki….

And away from Kakuzu.


	9. part 8

Two months. That was how long it had been since Hidan left. That was also how long it had been since he slept, thought about, or cared about anything.

He hadn't expected it to be this bad. The hole that he felt in his chest had refused to heal up, and every time he thought about Kakuzu (which was approximately every three minutes or so) the pain would intensify. The simple truth was, he was a nervous wreck without his partner.

He punched a tree. "Get it together, dammit! You're acting like a fucking school girl that just got dumped before the fucking prom!" he sighed. Yelling at himself wouldn't help. The Jashinist knew that. He'd been doing it since he left, after all. He repositioned his scythe and took off again. _"Just keep heading east," _he told himself.

He had left the Akatsuki going east. That meant that if he ever decided to head west, he'd be going back towards the base, and possibly towards Kakuzu. So, he kept running east, occasionally heading north or south, but never west. In fact, Hidan was pretty sure that if he ever tried to head back in the general direction of the base, he wouldn't be able to stop himself from returning.

An hour later he heard his stomach grumble. When was the last time he ate? A few days ago, maybe a week? He wasn't certain. Taking care of himself was pretty low on the list of priorities lately. Another grumble reminded him that even an immortal body could only run on empty for so long. He stopped at a tea house and ordered some sandwiches. _"Just like with Kakuzu…"_ he ferverantly shook his head. No, he couldn't think about his partner right now. But it was too late; the pain was already back. It took all of Hidan's willpower not to reach up and clutch his chest through the shirt that he was now forced to wear. Maybe this wouldn't hurt forever. Maybe he'd eventually be able to think of his former partner without all this pain.

Like in a few decades or so.

His food had arrived, and he quietly munched on it. He wished his partner was here; besides the obvious reason that he missed the guy like hell, the banker always managed to keep him distracted, so he didn't listen to the conversations around him. Seriously, the pointless chatter of the other customers was getting on his already fried nerves-

"I'm telling you, there's a whole bunch of ninjas coming this way!"

Hmm? Hidan focused on the man who spoke.

"Hah! You're bluffing!" a woman scoffed.

"I'm dead serious! A bunch of really tough thugs are coming this way! I saw them on my way here, and trust me, you don't wanna be around when they get here!" Hidan rose. If ninja were coming and they found him, word would no doubt leak back home, and the wrath of the Akatsuki would come at him full force. He quickly paid and left, determined to get away while he still could.

Unfortunately, he wasn't quick enough. He felt the enemies' chakra long before he saw them, so he was able to hide his own and take cover in a nearby forest. He immediately noticed that the kid at the tea shop had been exaggerating; there were only about a dozen ninja or so. Furthermore, these guys didn't seem very threatening as they ran by. In fact, Hidan could almost swear that they were on the run.

His suspicions were confirmed moments later when a knife imbedded itself in an enemy's back, then exploded. The remaining halted and formed a tight circle, looking around desperately, as if that would help them find their assailant. Hidan almost laughed; clearly these guys were either new to the game, or else too stupid to realize their attacker was shielding his chakra from them. He was glad that he'd gone ahead and hidden his own, or else this mystery killer might have hit him as well.

Speaking of which, the guy had just nailed another one of the poor bastards with several dozen knives. The remaining ten men spread out, finally realizing that they'd have to hunt down the assassin the old fashioned way. Hidan was getting bored and would have left, when he suddenly heard the clang of metal against metal. He heard a man scream and saw a few more explosions, followed by half a corpse falling to the ground. The attacker had been found.

The nine men left converged on the spot, breaking into groups of three and spreading out to cover the area. More metallic clangs resonated, and Hidan knew the guy had been found. For some reason, however, he still insisted on hiding his chakra signature. Probably hoping to get away and sneak up on them again. Hidan wished he could see what was going on, but they were fighting in the tree tops, and he wasn't about to leave his hiding place on the ground. Without warning, six of the men appeared on the ground. Hmm? What was-

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

A huge explosion went off, blowing most of the nearby foliage to smithereens. Hidan watched in mild fascination as several other bombs went off in the surrounding area. They were trying to force the guy onto the ground by destroying the trees and cutting of his escape routes. It worked, although it did fill the area they were currently standing in with thick, black smoke. Idiots. Hidan felt a new chakra signal flare up; the guy had finally given up on hiding it. _Wait a minute_- this wasn't a new signature. At least not to him. Hidan's eyes widened. _No, there was no way in hell HE could be here_-But as the smoke cleared, Hidan saw him.

Kakuzu stood before him, slightly singed but unharmed.

"I'll give you guys credit," the banker began, making Hidan's heart leap at the sound of his voice, "you are pretty tough. For a bunch of fucking idiots with no clue what they're doing."

"Shut up!"One of the men yelled, clearly the leader. "You've got no right to act so high and mighty, when all you've done is hide in the shadows and take us down one by one. That's a coward's tactic!"

"No, idiot, it's a smart tactic. And you punks brought this on yourself; didn't your mothers ever teach you not to steal, hmm?" Despite the current situation, Hidan couldn't help but smirk. No one that ever made the mistake of stealing form Kakuzu lived for very long. "Except me…"

The leader drew a sword. "SHUT UP! You may have picked us off from the shadows, but now we've got the upper hand!"

"I really doubt that," the banker replied in a bored tone. The man frowned and shifted to a fighting stance, while the other men drew their weapons. "We'll see." He shifted his weight, and the others took this as a signal to move. They charged, and the fight began.

Hidan was surprised at how quickly the enemy ninja moved; no wonder Kakuzu had decided to use stealth against them. His former partner was tough, but speed definitely wasn't one of his strengths. Hidan found himself wincing whenever his partner took a hit, and he nearly screamed when he saw a katana go through his chest directly above one of his hearts. The banker seemed unfazed, though, and proceeded to rip the guy apart with his threads. But although he continued fighting, Hidan knew what kind of blood loss came from a damaged heart. He saw yet another one get destroyed, and caught his hands automatically moving to his scythe. _"Don't."_ There it was again. That damnable voice.

"_He's my partner!"_

"_Was."_

"_He's my friend, dammit!"_

"_He'll be fine. Just go."_

"_WHAT?!"_

"_Leave now, in the confusion. He hasn't sensed you yet; just run."_

"_Hell no!"_

"_Yes. If you stay, it'll get worse."_ Hidan looked out and saw Kakuzu receive yet another stab that destroyed a heart. _"Look, he fucking needs help!"_

"_You can't."_

"_Why the fuck not?!"_

"_You help him, it proves you care. If that happens, he'll know everything you said before was a lie. And then, he really will be hurt."_ Damn that voice for being good at arguments. Hidan's attention shifted back to the battle field once more. Kakuzu was on his feet, but swaying slightly. Hidan counted the stab wounds in his chest and realized with horror that the only heart he had left was his own. What the hell was wrong with his partner?! He never fought this poorly! Those bastards should be bloody stains on the ground by now.

Clearly the five remaining men didn't know that Kakuzu was down to his last heart, or they already would have moved in for the kill. Instead, they were spread out, as if trying to find a weak spot. The leader chuckled. "You're one hell of a fighter, I'll give you that. But I think it's high time we were rid of you."

To both his and Hidan's surprise, Kakuzu laughed. "Hmm? What's so damn funny?"

"You really think I give a fuck about what happens to me? Maybe I did, but lately my life's been pretty fucked up. Kill me, spare me; it doesn't really matter anymore." The man almost looked sad.

Hidan's hands were shaking. _"He's acting like that because of me!"_

"_No, he isn't."_

"_What else could it fucking be?!"_

"_Something not involving you."_

"_That's a shitty smartass answer!"_

"_But a logical one." _The leader of the group chuckled, snapping Hidan back to reality. "Fine. If that's what works for you, then kindly drop dead!" He charged.

SWISH

Hidan's scythe cleanly sliced the man in half, splattering his blood all over the immortal. The remaining men stood there in shock at the sudden attack, giving Hidan a chance to reposition his scythe and lop off two heads in one swing. This finally woke up the others, but it was too late. The Jashinist managed to dispose of all the men in under three minutes. A personal best.

"Hidan."

The immortal froze. He'd been careful to keep his back turned to his partner throughout the entire fight. Slowly, his body began to turn. _"Don't do it, don't you dare fucking do it!"_ For once it was not the little voice yelling, but his own. His body disobeyed the command, however, and turned around the rest of the way. For the first time in months, he looked into his partner's eyes. And he knew what Kakuzu saw.

In that brief glimpse, there was no hate in his eyes, only love for his partner and regret for what happened. He'd tried to forget his partner, only to fail miserably and feel more pain than could actually be possible. And now that they were together, fear of rejection again.

And Hidan knew Kakuzu saw this, because he could see the exact same thing in his partner's eyes.

As quickly as he made the eye contact he broke it, turning back around to run away again.

STAB

He looked down at the fifty or so threads now protruding from his chest. _"Dammit…" _he thought as he blacked out.

Hidan woke up to the sound of a crackling fire. He slowly opened his eyes and realized that they were in a cave, and night had fallen. Kakuzu was sitting with his back turned to him, staring intently at the fire. Hidan tried to sit up, and winced. "Ow." There was a slight pain in his chest and feet.

The noise startled the banker, and he turned around. "So, you're finally awake."

"Did you have to fucking stab me with so many of those Jashin damned threads?" The immortal couldn't even put false anger in his voice.

Kakuzu ignored the remark and crawled over to his partner, sitting cross legged in front of him. "You wanna tell me why you flipped out and ran off?"

Hidan looked away. "Not really."

Kakuzu repeated the question, and Hidan sighed. Clearly there was no escaping this. "Look, I'll make this fucking simple. You're not the first person I've gone out with. You got any idea how many other fucking people I've been with?" the banker shook his head. "Neither do I. You wanna know how long those relationships lasted on average?" He smiled bitterly. "Two fucking months. Because every Jashin damned time, they'd die or abandon me."

Kakuzu kept quiet, so the immortal continued. "It hurt like a bitch every time. But, I never let them get as close to me as you did. So, I couldn't help but wonder what would happen when you left me. Not if, but when, because it's gonna fucking happen, and you know it."

"Well, that explains why you ran off. But what was with all the insults?"

Hidan smiled sheepishly. "Would you believe I was trying to make you hate me?"

"Actually, yes. You failed miserably." Hidan smirked and tried to sit up once again, but only got halfway up before his body collapsed. Kakuzu's arm shot out and caught Hidan's back. "Hold still. I need to repair you."

Hidan's eyes widened. "You didn't already fucking do that?!"

"Nope. In case you decided to bolt when you woke up. And for extra security…" he motioned to his feet, and Hidan looked down. The dull ache he felt was from having his feet sewn together. His eyes narrowed. "You're a fucking asshole, you know?"

"Shut up." The banker leaned his partner back against one arm and began sewing the wound on his chest shut, fingers gently brushing his skin and weaving the threads in place. The immortal was surprised by how gentle his partner was being. After a while, Kakuzu finished the stitching. "Now for your back." He forced Hidan to lean forward and rest against his other arm, while his threads once again went to work on the hole in his partner's back.

Hidan wrapped his pale arms around his partner's for support, noticing the clear size difference. At times like these, he really felt so small compared to the banker. He shut his eyes contently, the feeling of his partner working on his back surprisingly relaxing. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Hmm?" Kakuzu replied, still concentrating on his work.

Hidan frowned and opened his eyes. "I'm sorry." His arms tightened their grip around Kakuzu.

"It's ok." Hidan felt his partner's hand move over his back, and realized that Kakuzu was no longer stitching, but was instead gently rubbing circles into his back. This kind of affection was a surprise, at least coming from his partner. Hidan smiled and gently kissed his arm. All too soon, Kakuzu pulled away. "Come on, we need sleep. We leave at first light." Hidan's eyes widened. "Can't we fucking sleep in?!"

"No, that would be a waste of time."

"I'm fucking tired!"

"I haven't slept in days, but that isn't stopping me."

"I haven't slept in two months, asshole!"

"Whose fault is that?"

"Yours!"

"How is it my fault?!"

"I don't fucking know, but it is!"

Kakuzu shook his head. "We leave at dawn. That's final."

Hidan lay down and turned his back to his partner. "Asshole."

Morning came all too soon, and Hidan inwardly groaned as he heard his partner stomp out any coals that were still lit. "Let's go." Hidan strapped on his scythe, rose to his feet…..and jumped onto his partner's back. "Hidan, what the hell?!"

"Carry me."

"WHAT?!"

"I'm still tired. Carry me."

Kakuzu tried to pry the man off his back, but failed. "Hidan, no. Get down."

"Pretty please, 'Kuzu?"

"Hidan…."

"'Kuzu…"

Kakuzu shook his head in disbelief as he carried his sleeping partner down the road. His partner, who had nearly broken his heart, run off, disappeared for two months, saved him, tried to run off again, and blamed him for his insomnia. Who happened to look adorable sleeping on his back.

He rolled his eyes as Hidan shifted around, breathing gently on the banker's neck. Damn him for being so cute.

Honestly, if he didn't love the guy so much, he'd kill him.


	10. part 9

~~~~~~~~~~~two weeks later~~~~~~~~~~

Hidan stared at the clock. 12:52 a.m. He rolled his eyes and sighed inwardly. Jashin, he wanted to sleep, but something was keeping him up.

Namely, the close proximity of his partner.

Hidan couldn't help but frown. Ever since he'd gotten his partner back, Kakuzu had been watching his every move. The banker refused to let him sleep away, and kept a tight grip on him in bed._ "It's like he expects me to fucking bolt again…" _Hidan thought sadly.

Which was exactly the case.

Hidan knew it was gonna be a LONG time before his partner would give him any space again. But, that was the price he paid for taking off without a word. And it wasn't like he minded being so close to Kakuzu; it was just, well…being this close made him want to do things.

Like get fucked by Kakuzu.

Hidan couldn't exactly be entirely blamed for his feelings; he was really attracted to Kakuzu, and he was sleeping pressed against his partner's bare chest (thanks to the warm weather, they were both sleeping in boxers). And his partner's skin felt so good against his own…He shook his head. _No, no, do not think about that, do not think about kissing him, or him biting down on your neck, his hot flesh pressed against yours, thrusting in to you over and over again…_

Ok, that did it.

He flipped over to face his sleeping partner. "Kakuzu." His partner didn't budge. The immortal narrowed his eyes. "KAKUZU." Still no response.

He rolled his eyes and scooted closer. _"I was hoping not to resort to this…"_ he thought, bring his face near Kakuzu's. He smiled as he grabbed one of the stitches on the banker's cheek in between his teeth. _"Actually, I was."_ He bit down on the stitch and pulled his head back. Hard.

"OWW!" the banker was finally up. "Hidan what the hell?!"

"Look, asshole, I-"

"What time is it?" the banker glanced over at the clock. "Hidan, it's one in the morning! Why the fuck did you wake me up?!"

"That's what-"

"Look, whatever it is can wait until daylight." Kakuzu lay down, trying to get back to sleep. He was surprised when Hidan climbed onto his stomach, glaring at him. "Hidan, what now?"

"Listen, dumbass, I don't give a fuck what you want, I don't give a fuck what time it is, all I want is to get fucked!" Hidan hissed.

Kakuzu raised a brow. "That couldn't have waited until tomorrow morning?"

Hidan smacked him. "No, I can't!" he unconsciously rubbed his body against Kakuzu. "Please, 'Kuzu? I'm not gonna be able fucking to sleep until-urgh!" he gave up trying to talk and pressed his lips to Kakuzu's, pushing his tongue into the surprised banker's mouth.

His partner was quick to respond and flipped them over, pinning Hidan under him. "Don't try that again. You are, in no uncertain terms, the uke here."

Hidan smirked up at his partner. "Then hurry up, before-" he was cut off by Kakuzu giving him a teeth crashing kiss. The immortal quickly shut his eyes and returned the kiss, glad his partner was willing to push sleep aside for this. He felt Kakuzu nibble his bottom lip and opened his mouth, giving his partner entrance. Their tongues dueled for a while, but soon Hidan gave in and became submissive and allowed his partner to explore his mouth, hot tongue memorizing every detail within.

Hidan felt his partner's threads lift him partway off the bed. They ran along his back, before pausing. Kakuzu appeared to be thinking. Hidan felt tiny pinpricks off pain erupt down his back, and cried out. The threads were digging in.

He moaned as he felt them tear at his flesh, creating narrow gashes down his back. More pinpricks followed, and Hidan realized that Kakuzu was sewing up his injuries, healing them as quickly as he created them.

Hidan sat up and screamed as he felt more threads tear into his sides, making him cling to Kakuzu. The banker raised a brow. "Too much?"

"No. More, 'Kuzu; I love this," Hidan murmured in ecstasy, grip tightening as a fresh wave of pain hit him.

"Whatever you want, love." Kakuzu leaned in and gave Hidan a passionate kiss, threads still tearing and sewing up the smaller man. A few slid up to Hidan's neck and forced the Jashinist's head back, allowing Kakuzu to bite down at the base of his throat and draw blood. The immortal tried to suppress a moan and failed.

Hidan's hands moved down to his partner's boxers, trying to tug them off. Kakuzu smirked and let the immortal help him undress, before shoving him down and ripping off his clothing in one fluid motion. Hidan hissed as the cold air hit his arousal.

Kakuzu lightly ran his hand over Hidan's hardening length. "You ready?" he whispered, nipping at the Jashinist's collar bone. Hidan nodded, and the banker sat up. "Alright, suck," he ordered, pressing three fingers to Hidan's lips. The immortal raised a brow. "Trust me, Hidan, that's one kind of pain you may not want the first time." The immortal conceded and took in the fingers, wrapping his tongue around each one, giving them all an even coating. He opened his mouth and allowed Kakuzu to move the fingers to his entrance.

The banker poked in the first finger, making the immortal squeak in surprise. He pushed in the second finger, making Hidan moan, and scissored the digits to get the last one in. Hidan's breathing was shallow, the pain now turning to pleasure. Kakuzu began to move the fingers, and Hidan let out a strangled scream when the banker hit his sweet spot, causing stars to dance across his vision. "Fuck," he whispered.

Kakuzu smirked and removed his fingers, spreading Hidan's legs wider. He placed his cock near Hidan's entrance, and Hidan realized the fingers had been poor preparation for what was about to enter him. "Ready?" a quick nod, and the banker thrust in.

Hidan's eyes widened and he cried out. The banker pulled out and thrust in again, much harder than before. Kakuzu built up a rhythm, slamming into his lover over and over again while Hidan moaned beneath him, head thrown back in ecstasy, the perfect combination of pain and pleasure filling his small body. He was getting hotter and hotter, tighter and tighter, nearly going over the edge. "KAKUZU!" He screamed at last, exploding all over their stomachs, muscles tightening around his partner's length. Kakuzu moaned at the feeling and came deep within Hidan, whispering the immortal's name.

The banker pulled out and lay down beside his partner, both of them trying to catch their breath. Hidan smiled and pulled himself onto his partner's chest. "Aren't you glad I didn't fucking wait?"

"Yes." Kakuzu lifted his hand and ran it through Hidan's hair thoughtfully. "What?" the immortal asked.

"You're a really good fuck, you know?"

Hidan smacked Kakuzu. "Bastard."

"Masochist."

"I'm not denying that."

The banker smirked and wrapped his arms around his partner. "Good night, Hidan."

"Night."


	11. epilogue

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~back to the present~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And that was it. Hidan looked at the clock and was shock. He'd been reminiscing for the last two hours. _Insomnia's a bitch._ "Can't you sleep?" Great, he'd kept his partner up too.

He flipped over to face the banker. "What the hell do you think?" he sighed. "I'm just thinking."

"If you do that too much, you'll hurt yourself."

Hidan cuffed him on the side of the head. "You're a real pain in the ass, you know?"

"You mean that literally?" another cuff, but Hidan was smirking. "Yes. And figuratively."

Kakuzu sighed and flopped backwards to lie on his back, allowing Hidan to curl up in the space between his arm and torso. "Stay like this. I'll sleep better." The banker wrapped his around Hidan's back, indicating he was staying like that for a while.

Silence.

"Kakuzu?"

"Hmm?"

"…"

"Hidan?"

"I love you."

Kakuzu couldn't respond at first. Finally, he smiled and tightened his grip. "Love you too."

Hidan couldn't help smiling as he felt sleep wash over him. This has to be the weirdest organization in the entire world. After all, just look at the couples.

A psycho leader and a blue haired origami mistress.

A schizophrenic plant and an idiotic brat.

A shark and a weasel.

A puppet and a four-mouthed bomber.

And, of course, a miser and a masochist.


End file.
